


I'm still standing here and you're miles away

by crazvdream



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: And this was the result, Angst, F/F, F/M, I apologise, I'm so sorry, Lams feels, M/M, Modern AU, Oops, Sadness, my hand slipped
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-08 03:41:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11073324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazvdream/pseuds/crazvdream
Summary: Alexander visits John.





	I'm still standing here and you're miles away

"Hey, sorry I haven't been busy in a while. I've been so busy with Philip. He's growing up so fast, it's hard to keep track of him these days. 

How are you? You hanging in there? I hope you're not getting too lonely. I keep telling Laf and Herc to come see you but... I don't whether they do. Do they? I hope they do. You need company. 

I don't see them as much anymore. We've kind of drifted apart. It makes me sad, but it's not the same. It'll never be the same, John.

Eliza's pregnant again. We found out last week it's going to be a girl. Eliza wants to name her Angelica. I love it. It fits well.

Speaking of Angelica, she met someone. A guy named... now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure he's called John too. Huh. Strange. They've moved all the way to England together.

She's happy though, and that's what matters. 

Peggy's good too. She's not a kid anymore either. When we first met her she was such a child, do you remember? She's still quite childish, you know Peggy, but... She's grown up so much. 

She's got a girlfriend. A sweet girl named Maria. Eliza's unsure, but I don't know. They're pretty perfect for each other. I think it's gonna last.

And then Laf and Herc. They've got each other. The wedding's soon. I wish you could be there, John.

I miss you. A lot. A lot more than I let on to anyone. I found a bunch of pictures the other day, from when we were younger.

Philip found me crying. He gave me a hug, bless his soul, and he told me not to cry. I showed him pictures of us. You should see him, John. He amazes me, that child.

It's strange, but he reminds me of you so much. He has the same little freckles on his face as you. The same hair. Even the same kind of smile. It's like I have a piece of you with me everyday. It's also kinda painful.

I think Eliza sees it too. She sees the way I look at him, and she gives me this look. I don't know what the look means.

I love her so much, John. I do. She's always there. She keeps me strong. She keeps me sane.

She keeps me alive.

I... I don't really know what else to say to you. I think that's about everything I have to tell you.

I'm gonna sit here a little while longer though, if you don't mind."

Alexander sits there for a moment. He feels tears in his eyes. He doesn't bother wiping them away.

"Oh! Also, I forgot. I got you these."

He places the flowers in his hands down in front of him.

"I hope you like them. They're... They're sweet peas." Alex laughs a little, "Sounds stupid, I know, but- well, I thought they were pretty, and when I looked up what they meant it said that 'sweet peas may be used to indicate someone leaving after a positive experience', and, well, I don't knows. Seems kind of fitting, don't you think?"

There's silence for a little moment.

"Well. It's been nice. Really nice, actually. I need to visit more. But I've got to go now. Aaron and Theodosia, plus Theo Jr. are coming for dinner. He'd never admit it, but Burr misses you too. Everyone does, John."

Alexander finally stands up, legs slightly numb from sitting down to long. He brushes off the dirt from his trousers, looks down one more time before leaving, only pausing to brush his fingers against the top of the gravestone. 

"See you later." He whispers.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> I'm so sorry for that sadness I wasn't prepared I just started writing and this happened. 
> 
> If, for some reason, you wanna talk to this sad little kiddo here, my tumblr is @crazvdream


End file.
